Indyfreak's Movie Review of London Fields

Rating of
0.5/4

London Fields

So bad it makes TERMINAL (2018) look professional.
Indyfreak - wrote on 04/15/19

This movie is so bizarrely constructed and the editing is so bad, one can easily call it The Snowman of 2018. While that failed venture was your standard police procedural made into a woeful example of outsider art through bad luck, this film aims for some near incomprehensible labyrinthine parody of every postmodern thriller made since Pulp Fiction or The Usual Suspects.
The closest that can be described to being a serviceable plot is that a slinky sexy woman named Nicola Six (no seriously that's her name) is blorn with the uncanny gift of premonition. And she guesses her murderer upon entering a sleazy London pub and being courted by a series of strange or suspicious characters. In between that, there is a lot of overwrought narration by a bored Billy Bob Thornton; a darts competition; and panoramic shots of what seem to be the Apocalypse.
If it had an inkling of self-awareness, it may be a spectacular example of stealth trolling pretentious film snobs and industry insiders everywhere. But given that this film stars Amber Heard (the poor man's Nicole Kidman) and rejected leading men like Jim Sturgess and Theo James, that seems unlikely. The sole bright spot among the main cast is surprisingly enough the most controversial, Johnny Depp. No, seriously, Johnny Depp is in this movie and he's actually pretty good. It also helps that Amber Heard gets naked alot in this so at least there's that.But unless you fancy yourself as one of those pretentious hipster schlock enthusiasts (such as myself ;).) I cannot recommend viewers to seriously consider watching this.

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