Yojimbo's Movie Review of Underworld (2003)

Rating of

Underworld (2003)

"Underworld" by Yojimbo
Yojimbo - wrote on 05/21/12

Featuring flowing leather duster coats aplenty, CGI assisted stunts, and absurdly pretty people shooting at each other in slo-mo through a blue filter, Len Wiseman obviously watched The Matrix a few too many times. And still didn't understand why it worked. The ideas are hackneyed, the dialogue (and particularly the exposition) is borderline shocking and the completely pompous lack of humour combined with pseudo gothic sets, crushed velvet and corsets makes it look like a 2 hour long Evernescence video. It's difficult for a heterosexual man to hate a film that features Kate Beckinsale in a skin tight rubber catsuit for it's entire length, and it does have some visual flair; in fact teenage goths will probably think it's the best thing ever made EVER. But anyone viewing it with any sense of objectivity will come to the conclusion that it's all rather dull, clunky and immature. If it's vamps you want, Blade II is infinitely superior.

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