"Rise: Blood Hunter" by Yojimbo
Yojimbo - wrote on 02/10/12
A reporter is turned into a vampire and she sets about tracking down and killing her attackers. The opening scene of this film is one of the lamest Playboy style pseudo-lesbian scenes I have ever seen in a "serious" film and that just about sets the level of the entire movie. It's basically just Lucy Liu and her cheekbones wandering around with a mindlessly disinterested look on her face, occasionally getting naked and dousing herself in fake blood. There is no action to speak of, the disjointed timeline is pointless and does nothing but mildly confuse in an attempt to make the plot look a lot more clever and complex than it actually is. The casting of Lucy and Robert Forster in a cameo are clearly a deliberate ploy to give this softcore TV movie standard bag of cliches a Tarantino flavour but its total lack of invention, humour or excitement make it a real chore to sit through. And any film that manages to make Lucy Liu in the nip seem like a bore is going SERIOUSLY wrong somewhere...