memento_mori's Movie Review of Pain & Gain

Rating of

Pain & Gain

This amount of stupidity should be punished.
memento_mori - wrote on 02/05/14

This film's title is very ironic. Because all I felt during my viewing of it, was pain. And I gained nothing from it watching its insulting two hours of bad acting and bad filmmaking.

I won't even bother with an introduction, because I am angry and eager to get to the point:

Every single scene in this film is simply wrong. I say that with the fullest confidence, because if you are a person who is actually aware of and has chosen to research the events which Michael Bay has shamefully decided to exploit and glamorize in his new action-satire disaster of a film, then you will most likely agree with me.
This is the director's worst effort, by far, if you can even call Michael Bay a direction by now.
Remember all the hype leading up to this film? How so many people were impressed by his direction and now fully matured, new style? Guess what! Forget that. It's still Michael Bay. Less actions, but it's still the same old macabre, immature, shaky, perverted twelve-year-old we all know and hate.

To back up my beginning statement, let me tell you about how I felt while watching this film: During almost every single shot I found myself annoyed, shaking my head, frowning or in a state of indescribable infuriation, because I could not bring myself to enjoy a very moment in this movie.
How someone could even get the idea to adapt something like as atrocious and stupid this, it disgusts me. Schindler's List is one thing, but that's a different type of evil. It was a necessary adaptation to the screen. And what did this have? Did this story warrant to be filmed into a satire by the Transformers director?

The dialogue is absolutely pretentious, and so is the whole script for that matter. Poor character development and traits as well as maddening inconsistent monologues contribute to this film's moral depravity, as three fairly good actors either completely miss the mark or are simply put into the horrid spotlight of being in a Michael Bay movie.
Mark Wahlberg is truly hatable in the only role I have truly ever hated him in. This character is non-sensical, racist, anti-semitic, stupid and to top it all off, he delivers a bad performance in the characters. He chews the scenery and extinguishes any hope for this to be a character to sympathize or have fun with.
The Rock as a buff born-again Christian makes one of the worst people that could ever exist. How could someone follow religious principles while torturing and almost murdering another person? How can that be funny, Michael Bay?
Ed Harris delivers yet another lazy and typecast performance as a wannabe badass detective who just makes my eyes roll. How many times are they going to do the same character?
I don't even want to get into the other actors' performances.

Sometimes I really have to ask myself what goes on in Michael Bay's head.
This is by far the worst film I have seen in 2013, not only because of its mean-spirited and disgusting nature, but because this idiot of a director actually tried to make it entertaining. THAT is sick.
I hope that Bay can be proud of his achievements when he looks back on them in thirty years or so, because right now, they are possibly the biggest piles of crap in the film industry, even if he is too freaking blinded from his own overly saturated filters to face the fact.

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