Unfunny, Tedious, And Disappointing
JLFM - wrote on 04/12/12
A disappointing third film in the Pirates series. It suffers from all the problems of the first and second, and then some. Much of the appeal of the first two are gone, and what remains is a confusing, boring, and unfunny second sequel.
Problems abound from everywhere, so I'll be working hard to narrow it down.
For one, Johnny Depp's role as Jack Sparrow is once again shrunken into a smaller part.
Also there is absolutely no action that is even vaguely interesting (after the first half hour). In fact, the last hour is at least 45 minutes action, and it's surprisingly dull. In fact, it's tedious. It's just people killing each other, and nothing interesting about it. There's no variety, no interesting atmosphere. Just swords clashing.
There is a plot, which is more than what can be said for the second, but it's so confusing, with so many characters and sub plots and deceptions and people changing sides, that it's almost completely incomprehensible.
Most of the characters are obnoxious, and though that was apparent in the first two, it is even more so now.
There are too many flat gags, too many boring scenes, and too many characters for the film to flow well. There were times when I wondered what the purpose was for really anything going on during the movie.
There are some good things though. The first half hour is strong, just like the first two flicks, but after that, the movie is drop dead boring.
The score is another winner from composer Hanz Zimmer, albeit a tad familiar. The acting is dependable, and even admist a thousand bad jokes, there's at least a few laughs (or chuckles really).
There is one bizzare scene where godess of the sea, Calypso is turned back into her original form. This scene is so weird, stupid, and nonsensical, it's hard not to burst out laughing (I most certainly did). Let's just say that she grows about 1,000 feet high, talks like she has really bad congestion, looks like she's constipated, and eventually explodes into a million crabs. It's even more ridiculous on screen.
When the film closes, you will either be waiiting in great anticipation for the fourth (if you enjoyed it), or you'll be fast asleep or about ready to be (if you're me).