By Chris Kavan - 12/18/10 at 10:34 AM CT
To get into the Christmas spirit full swing, here are some the rude, crude and just plain nutty Santas that have graced the silver screen. Warning - may cause irreparable damage to children.
1) Billy Bob Thorton as Willie in Bad Santa - Look, the title of the movie is BAD SANTA, so what more has to be said? Drinking, cursing, sex-obsessed, thieving - I mean it's as if the Grinch was reincarnated as a human in an R-Rated world. There are some scary Santas, there are some mean Santas but nothing tops this Bad Santa.
2) Mall Santa in A Christmas Story - Sure, this is one of my favorite Christmas films of all time, but you have to admit the Santa is pretty crappy. For one, his nose is redder than Rudolph's, and it's not because he's looking to light the way. Drunk (literally) on his own power, with demonic elves to boot, this king of the hill crushes dreams, and faces, with impunity. The drunken "HO HO HO" lives on in infamy.
3) Billy Chapman in Silent Night, Deadly Night - While not technically Santa - he does dress the part and mete out his own version of Naughty or Nice - just make sure you end up on the nice list, otherwise you'll wind up missing a few key body parts or impaled or otherwise wind up without a spirit on Christmas.
4) Dan Aykroyd as Louis Winthorpe III in Trading Places - What happens on Christmas when you find yourself broke, shut out from high society and very depressed? Well, you find yourself a ratty Santa suit and beard, crash the party and steal plenty of food. Ham is so much better when paired with fake, white hair - especially on the bus.
5) Jack Skellington in The Nightmare Before Christmas - You know, his heart (if a skeleton has a heart) was in the right place, but there's a reason that holidays shouldn't mix - while some (albeit very disturbed) children might be happy with shrunken heads, spiders and toys that may maim them, I'm guessing the vast majority will still want, you know, stuff they asked for. Nice try Jack, but leave the job to the real Sandy Claws.
I know there are plenty of other bad Santas out there, some with muscles some fighting martians, but these are the best of the worst for me. Anyone else scarred for life by any Santas on screen?
