You're Not the Boss of Me... Thankfully

By Chris Kavan - 09/18/10 at 07:01 PM CT

My job is okay, but my boss is great... I mean he lets me work on stuff like this blog and processing films for all you fine folks out there. Sure, I do what I'm told, but when things get boring I know I can surf the net without fear or reprisal. Other bosses wouldn't be so kind or forgiving, but some bosses are downright terrors.

Good thing I didn't have to deal with any of these bosses from hell.

1) BIll Lumbergh, Office Space - Even office drones don't deserve a boss as ineffective and grating as Lumbergh. His drawling talk, caffeine addiction and staple stealing ways - not to mention having peons work on weekends - can only end in disaster. No wonder his employees turn to embezzling and arson.

2) Miranda Priestly, The Devil Wears Prada - Lack of emotion or any physical effort - I'm not saying I want a boss who wants to be my buddy - but jokes, smiling a "good job" every now and then - Miranda is the queen of all ice queens and no matter how good you are, don't expect any kind of gratitude or even notice. I don't know why anyone would even try.

3) Scrooge, A Christmas Carol - Next to a distant boss, a cheap boss is just as bad. No overtime, no bonus, no holidays off and no frills of any kind. Lucky he sees the light, but humbug to any real bosses who cut corners or dumb down just to save a few bucks.

4) Gordon Gekko, Wall Street - On the other hand, having a greedy boss doesn't mean you'll have a good time either. Forget friends, family or even happiness, when money is all that matters, a man will do anything to get more - Gekko would sell his mother for a good stock tip.

5) Franklin Hart, Jr, 9 to 5 - Even in the 80s, sexual harassment wasn't well tolerated (though compared to today, I'm sure it was more widespread) but Hart was on top of the heap for being a male chauvinist pig. If only all bosses so blatant would get their comeuppance like he did, but, alas, taking charge is never so easy.

There are plenty more hellish bosses (next time you join a law firm, make sure your boss isn't actually from hell - John Milton, Devil's Advocate) out there, but I think I've given them enough attention for one day. Now if you don't mind, I better get back to work before my boss goes all Michael Corleone on me.


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