Create Game Lists on MeltedJoystick.com
FilmCrave home
   Movies  Members
Search +
Searching... Close  
Are you sure you want to delete this comment?
  
 
  Login Using Facebook
Twitter
 
     

10 Types of People Who Kill the Theater Experience

View Chris Kavan's Profile

By Chris Kavan - 07/31/13 at 06:22 PM CT

I go to the movies. Like, a lot. If not every weekend during the summer, certainly every other weekend. I sometimes see movies more than once - but one thing that never changes whether you're watching a matinee, a midnight showing or even catching some obscure film at the local art house theater - there are some people you just want to avoid. These are the people who make movies less enjoyable simply by being there. Some of you may fall into these categories (even myself at times - see below) and that doesn't make you an inherently evil person - but sometimes it can get annoying.

Do Not Want! photo DoNotWant_zps16bf9c98.jpg

10) The Teenage Mob

I realize that young people tend to travel in herds, but seeing an entire row (or more) take over just invites disaster. They usually spend more time talking to each other (or, even worse, texting on their phones) than watching the movie. They giggle and laugh at everything - fake scream at horror - and generally make me want to act like Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino - get off my lawn! Or at least out of the same theater I happen to be in.

9) The Spoiler

If there was one category I fall into - this would be it. The spoiler is someone who has seen the movie already and is now on their second (or more) viewing. If it's a good movie - they can't help but point out how awesome the next scene is going to be or avert their eyes if they know something terrible is about to happen. Vocal spoilers are much worse - don't blurt out the next thing that's coming up, you jackass. That goes for me as well.

8) The Chatty Catchy

Some people don't realize that when you're watching a movie in a theater, you're supposed to be quiet. This type of person just doesn't get it. They will talk about anything and everything - it doesn't have to relate to the movie at all - they'll just gab - what they had for lunch, how their family is doing, shopping, what they're reading - Throughout. The. Entire. Movie. Telling them to quiet down will only give you an evil stare - and they might shut up for a five minutes or so before starting right back up.

7) The Stench

Look - take a shower, put on some deodorant, slather on the cologne - there is no reason to attend a movie if you smell like you just got back from slaughtering animals or running a marathon. Period. This also goes for people who are sick in any way - just stay home - a movie isn't worthy infecting everyone with whatever you're carrying at the time.

6) The Exclaimer

Some movies are designed to provoke a reaction. But certain people react no matter what's going on on the screen. They yell at the movie like they expect a response. It's like an unfunny version of Mystery Science Theater 3000 - and unless you're doing it from the comfort of your own home - leave the commentary to yourself.

5) The Drunk

Like the teenage mob, the drunk is usually a group of people - loud and who think they are funny. If the entire audience is drunk - hey, it's a party, but if you're the minority (read: your own group) your loud, obnoxious and (to you) funny behavior is barely tolerable. They don't feel pain but if they get too rowdy, I'm sure tossing them out is a viable option.

4) The Sleeper

Yes, I have heard snores coming from people in the theater. The funny thing is, it's not usually a solitary person - they are at least with one other person and for some reason, no one wakes them up! Do they find this amusing? Embarrassing? Whatever the case, unless you can work it into a terrible review for a film - someone sleeping is just not cool.

3) The Phone Forgetter

Despite the numerous reminders before every movie, it seems there is always someone who forgets to silence their phone. Hey, it happens, but you should still receive a slap for it - a light slap, but a slap none-the-less.

2) The Phone Who-Cares-What-You-Thinker

Some people forget to turn their phones off and are embarrassed when it goes off. Some people don't turn their phones off - on purpose. I've seen people have entire conversations on their phone while a movie is playing - and not that quiet, either. These people don't just need to be slapped, they need their phone taken away and crushed before their very eyes. Texting is also frowned upon.

1) The Crying Child

Was it going to be anything else at the top of the list? I realize that certain movies (animated mostly) will have children - even very young children. But when I'm watching an R-rated horror film or action movie or something with giant robots - you know, something adults enjoy, I don't expect to be interrupted by a baby. I'm not married. I don't have a child myself - I don't know how hard it is to track down a babysitter - but it can't be that bad. Don't these people have relatives they can trust? Nothing kills the buzz faster in a theater than a wailing baby - no matter the genre.


How about you? Anyone you've ran into at the theaters who make you seriously question humanity? Make you want to scream or walk out? Share your stories - I won't mind.

Comments
7 comments
Name: 

Avoid spam Captcha: Sign Up + or Log In +   
 
View KingInTheNorth's Profile

KingInTheNorth

Wrote on 08/12/13 at 04:24 PM CT

"The late ones": guys who come to late to the movie and walk through your row with: "excuse me" "I'm sorry" "Pardon me" etc. God, that's annoying...

Write on Profile +

View Ryan Stephen M's Profile

Ryan Stephen M

Wrote on 08/04/13 at 02:18 PM CT

Seat kickers, excellent addition! If it happens once, that's an accident that I can give a pass for. If it happens multiple times it's out of order.

Write on Profile +

View Chris's Profile

Chris

Wrote on 08/03/13 at 05:12 PM CT

Oh yeah - seat kickers - that should be added as #11 - and anyone who brings in outside food should be beaten with a wet sock full of quarters. Unless it's a theater that actually serves food and drink - don't bring your meal in with you.

Write on Profile +

View Daniel Corleone's Profile

Daniel Corleone

Wrote on 08/03/13 at 12:46 PM CT

"Despicable Me 2." Wanna add those who eat loudly due to their habits or food (Nachos or chips!).

Write on Profile +

View Daniel Corleone's Profile

Daniel Corleone

Wrote on 08/03/13 at 12:43 PM CT

Answering calls during the movie #2 = the wifey. Luckily, my kid (1 almost 2 on Nov.) kinda behaved well during his first flick Despicable Me. He got restless after an hour but still enjoyed the flick. You forgot the "seat buggers." Those whose knees or foot hit your seat (intentionally or not, it is very annoying!) while your viewing is just plain insensitive. Cool points Chris.

Write on Profile +

View Nick's Profile

Nick

Wrote on 07/31/13 at 10:32 PM CT

My two worst are the sick people, coughing, sniffling, I don't want to get sick! Stay the hell home you idiot. That's what Netflix is for! I also hate crying babies, that comes in at a close second. I simply don't get those people that think those two things are OK to do.

When you said you sometimes fall into one of the categories, I thought it would be #7, the stench, not #9. You and your farts man. Don't forget for #9, that also includes people who have read the damn book the movie was based on, and ruins the movie that way too.

Write on Profile +

View Ryan Stephen M's Profile

Ryan Stephen M

Wrote on 07/31/13 at 09:14 PM CT

The teenage mob is horrible, and uncontrollable. The worst for me though is someone who is sitting close to you, maybe directly behind or in front, who will just not stop talking to someone next to them. Grrr few things annoy me more in life. Is it too much to ask for someone not to talk during the two hours or less for a movie. Even if a movie is 3 hours long, the same still applies. Just sit there, quietly, and watch the movie please.

Write on Profile +

Bloggers
Recent Blog Posts
Archive

All Posts

October 2017

September 2017

August 2017

July 2017

June 2017

May 2017

April 2017

March 2017

February 2017

January 2017

December 2016

November 2016

October 2016

September 2016

August 2016

July 2016

June 2016

May 2016

April 2016

March 2016

February 2016

January 2016

December 2015

November 2015

October 2015

September 2015

August 2015

July 2015

June 2015

May 2015

April 2015

March 2015

February 2015

January 2015

December 2014

November 2014

October 2014

September 2014

August 2014

July 2014

June 2014

May 2014

April 2014

March 2014

February 2014

January 2014

December 2013

November 2013

October 2013

September 2013

August 2013

July 2013

June 2013

May 2013

April 2013

March 2013

February 2013

January 2013

December 2012

November 2012

October 2012

September 2012

August 2012

July 2012

June 2012

May 2012

April 2012

March 2012

February 2012

January 2012

December 2011

November 2011

October 2011

September 2011

August 2011

July 2011

June 2011

May 2011

April 2011

March 2011

February 2011

January 2011

December 2010

November 2010

October 2010

September 2010

August 2010

July 2010

June 2010

May 2010

April 2010

March 2010

February 2010

 
Log In
Help on how to log into FilmCrave
Login with Facebook
Login with FilmCrave
 
 
What Members Are Doing
Movie Talk
New Movie Reviews
New Movie Lists
Top Movie List by Seth
2016 by Karmand
Top Movie List by SIngli6
Movies I watched for the Nth time by Rod
Watched in 2017 by tonks76
Movies of 2017 by Stoney McStonerson
Fantastic French Films I Have Seen by Chris Kavan
2016 by Randall

 

 

 

Contact FilmCrave Public Relations    

Advertise and Business

Developer API

Contact Us

Jobs

About us

SiteMap

 

Support FilmCrave

FAQ and Help

News and Press

Terms of Use

Privacy

   
Are you sure you want to delete this comment?
  
Are you sure you want to delete this blog?