Laughable if it wasn't so boring.
Cronenberg is an enigma. He makes well crafted movies that are intended to get under your skin. He doesn't deal in happy go lucky stories and sometimes he is incredibly successful at his trade. The Dead Zone, The Fly, Scanners, and A History of Violence are all wonderful films that do exactly what they're supposed to. Then there's the Cronenberg that makes Crash.
Crash, in a nut shell, is about people who get off sexually by being in car crashes, or at least being around them. Based on a novel by J.G. Ballard, the story itself fits Cronenberg like a glove. It's the wooden performances that really make this movie laughable. I understand that Cronenberg is going for detachment with these characters but generally I have to at least believe that people are mildly interested in what's going on. George A. Romero never made zombies as realistic as the ones in Crash. The movie is in no way engaging and worst of all, it's just plain boring.
Crash courted a lot of controversy when it came out because of the subject matter and the NC-17 rating. People had nothing to worry about. Crash is boring, listless, and not at all controversial. The sex scenes are not sexy nor are they disturbing. They are just there. And that's all Crash is. It's just there.