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Matthew Brady's Movie Reviews (2263)

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The Loft 
If Clue ever had a bastard child it will be this
1/4 stars

Let's talk about The Loft...god help me.

The story to The Loft is about five unlikable friends turn a loft into their own extra-marital affair playground. But when a young woman if found murdered on the property, and the only five keys belong to each of the five men, the suspicions turns on each other.

Just when I thought I had a lucky escape from January with the movies that came out, so far February has been a hard month for me, not because of home problems or other such dramas, no it's just bad movies after bad movies that came out and bite me on the ass. The Loft is nothing different, it sucks like the month of January and February dose.

Now let's talk about the good things in this movie: If you and your friends where drunk one night and you all want a good time destroying and movie this is the one.

Now for the bad and these a lot of bad: Every character in this movie is A: Unlikable. or B: A peace of shit to the human race, and I think it's both. Who got great actors here who in the past pulled off great performances, but in this movie they where truly awful in this movie. I bet right now they regret being in this movie, because this film makes them look bad has actors and character's.

The writing has well is probably the worst I've seen so far this year. I mean my god nobody talks like this in real life. Aliens from out of space can write pretty dialogue than this if aliens ever came out in pace and joined a movie business.. if that even makes any sense at all, if it doesn't that's fine I have no idea what the hell I just said but I'm just going to keep it in to confuse people. So overall the writing in this was pathetically bad and I hope the writers never write anything else after seeing this.

The movie drags on and on as well. I couple of times I kept guessing that the movie will end here or here or here, until at one point I already checked out before it finally reached to the end, that's how bored I was. Now in this worse than Mortdecai or Fifty Shades of Abuse? I can say no, those two films to me are much worse-er than The Loft. But on a positive side this movie can be best use when your friends around your house and there's nothing to watch, put this in and you can talk through out the film, it's okay I'm not going to tell you to be quiet, I will be talking too.


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