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MovieAddict's Movie Reviews (522)

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Major Payne 
"There's a monster in my closet"
2.5/4 stars

Major Benson Payne is a hardcore Marine mercenary who is given a new assignment, to handle a military school with little kids. The kids aren't exactly military material. They're skinny, fat, undisciplined, and over sensitive. It’s Major Payne's job to teach these little losers’ his world of discipline.

However his brand of training immediately sets the boys against him and they resort to getting rid of him using any means possible which includes spiking his food with laxatives, a gassy gag which backfires and hiring a tough motorcycle guy to come take care of Payne, but that doesn’t work either so the Major puts each of the boys into 8 weeks of living hell!

Along the way we meet the attractive teacher/counselor Emily Walburne, who falls for Major Payne even though he treats the kids poorly, has terrible table manners, tells the worst bed time stories ever and whose idea of fun is hanging upside down blindfolded and cleaning his gun. Make sure you watch out for that hilarious dance scene and the shooting of the bogyman through the closet door was priceless. Now why didn’t I ever think of doing that! And who wouldn’t love the retelling of the story; “Little engine who
Could”…told Payne style lol.

Damon Wayans delivers a knockout performance as the loud-mouthed, gold-toothed, trash talkin’, nasal voiced Major Benson Winifred Payne who is determined to have his guys win the annual competition between the military academies in the state. Filled with the prospect of winning the trophy and of finally being rid of Payne, the cadets throw themselves into Payne's grueling training program and soon according to Payne the boys graduate “from turds to maggots”.

I guess we're not the sensitive types as both my son and hubbie loved this one and was cracking up all the time.


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