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Yojimbo's Movie Reviews (2306)

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Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter 
"Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" by Yojimbo
1.5/4 stars

Young Abraham Lincoln's mother is murdered by an undead fiend which leads to his lifelong quest to rid the world of the vampires who have colonised the South and feast upon its slave population.

As you can tell from this utterly preposterous synopsis, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is not a film that anyone in their right mind could take seriously; apart from its makers, of course. I watched the film expecting a joke-laden spoof, but bizarrely it takes itself rather seriously. Feeling very much like a modern superhero film packed to the gills with the kind of speedy-uppy-slowy-downy CGI-laden visual effects that already look extremely dated, it's an absurdly po-faced action/horror hybrid that is astonishingly misjudged. The writer may have considered the analogy of slavery as blood-sucking white fiends preying greedily on African-Americans very insightful and clever, but to me it just seemed to trivialise an extremely important topic and period in American history. The action sequences keep the first half of the film watchable, but once Abe becomes President its wordiness and insistence on grounding itself in genuine events such as Gettisburg begs only the question "What on Earth were they thinking?!".

Silly without ever being amusing and bizarrely straight-faced, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter never survives its ludicrous premise and is one of those films that makes you wonder how and why it got made in the first place.


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