By Chris Kavan - 11/13/10 at 01:11 PM CT
While I don't necessarily have a problem with guys with red noses, funny hair and white face paint, a lot of other people do seem to have issues. Luckily for us, Hollywood continually reminds us that clowns are either scary or at least messed up. Isn't that nice of them? Here then are the top choices for giving you nightmares and hopefully passing the fear on to the next generation.
1) Pennywise the Clown - Stephen King's It - This on is a no-brainer. Despite being a mini-series and not quite a movie, I'm still sticking with this choice. Tim Curry manages to turn Bozo into Bundy and with wicked sharp teeth to boot. Pennywise is every clown-haters ultimate nightmare. If there's a scarier clown out there, let me know.
2) Clown Doll - Poltergeist - Even clown-looking toys can cause irrational fear for years to come. I don't have a problem with clowns, but clown dolls? Hell yes! All due to this movie and that evil-looking puppet. Now if I ever see a clown doll, I have to use full use of control to keep from punching it in its grinning face.
3) Captain Spaulding - House of 1,000 Corpses / The Devil's Rejects - Nothing like a foul-mouthed cannibalistic clown to ruin your whole outlook on life. Sid Haig has made a career playing sadistic bit parts in many a horror film, but this may be his crowning achievement.
4) Shakes the Clown - Nothing like a little alcoholism to brighten up your day. Not so much scary as just kind of depressing, but any time you have a clown with this much baggage, you're just asking for trouble.
5) Killer Klowns from Outer Space - So what if they're just clown-looking aliens - they'll still wrap you up in cotton candy cocoons and suck out your sweet, sweet human juices. Yeah, they're a bit corny, but to impressionable youth they might just scar them for life. Clowns are funny, Klowns are killers.
So all you clown-phobic people, any other movies that make your clown senses tingle... and not in a good way? I'm always game to find out.
