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It Came From Late-Night Cable TV!

View Chris Kavan's Profile

By Chris Kavan - 08/02/10 at 01:55 PM CT

I don't suffer from insomnia, but I often find myself surfing through the channels late at night seeing if there's anything decent to watch or put me to sleep. Aside from the fact there is still a shocking amount of soft-core pornography (it will always be skinamax to me), I usually stumble upon c-grade horror movies and the occasional treat. Here are some of my recent entries, rated from good to god-awful.

1) Buddy Boy - IFC - Being an outlet for independent films, at least I knew I was going to see something interesting. This David Lynch-like film has plenty of strange characters and weird moments. It's part voyeuristic stalking part love story part horror story - it wasn't the best film ever, but it was interesting.

2) Hatchet - Cinemax - This throwback to old-school horror films was much better than I was expecting. The characters are all stereo-typical with no development, and the killer is of the Jason school of non-death. You can tell they were having fun with this one - gory deaths, plenty of cliches and even the end was a call back. If you like slasher films of yore, it's a pretty good watch.

3) Red Sands - Showtime (I think) - A good premise that squanders its assets with dumb characters and a meandering plot. I guess the moral of this story is don't treat other religions with contempt or shoot strange statues in the desert or else slaughter will follow. Based on true events my foot.

4) College - TMC - A raunchy film that tries to be like American Pie or Porkys, but never comes close to equaling the quality. Every college stereotype is present and not even a cameo from Verne Troyer can save the day. But, hey, there are plenty of chances to see naked women.

5) Walled In - Showtime - I already knew I was in trouble when the main character is known for her work on The O.C. Mischa Barton is not what I would call a leading lady, especially not when she's supposed to play an architect specializing in demolition. It only goes downhill from there.

6) The Pumpkin Karver - Whereas Hatchet was a fun throwback horror film, this is just a lazy excuse to carve up teens. The deaths are lame, the characters are cardboard and even the story is downright stupid. I'm a fan of bad horror movies, but they have to have something going for them - this is just pathetic.

So, any other night owls out there who troll cable for something of interest? Heck, even basic cable shows movies (I just hate commercials). Anything you like to watch late at night to drift asleep (or stay awake?). Let me know!

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