Serenity
0.5/4 stars

Serenity.
God, how it hurts to write that name.
This sick, ungodly, downright blasphemous excuse for cinema comes to us from Joss Whedon, creator Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Is it any different? Oh, God no. Don't get me wrong, I liked Buffy, but this, excuse my French, blatant bullshit is nothing more than Buffy...In Space!
I'm afraid I cannot reveiw the whole turgid thing, since I turned off my rental copy not even halfway through! The pure amount of unoriginality was mind boggling. Can Joss Whedon create original characters? No! Can he change humour one iota? No! It's the same damned thing! These cocky, arrogant, stereotypical characters crawl out of the woodwork, ad nauseum. The film plays like a bad fan-ficiton.
I've never seen show Firefly, and now, I have absolutely no wish to see it. I'd rather be crucified upside down by flaming homeless men with needles for fingers and castrated by rabid wolves than watch this...thing which deifes all that is shit about film.

I heartily reccomend you avoid this crock of ass, and quarantine and kill any family members who own it and/or like it to stop this plague of balls from spreading.

Review by TrifibianTerror