Create Game Lists on MeltedJoystick.com
FilmCrave home
   Movies  Members
Search +
Searching... Close  
Are you sure you want to delete this comment?
  
 
  Login Using Facebook
Twitter
 
     

TheWolf's Movie Reviews (522)

view profile + 
 
3/4
4/4
3/4
3/4
3/4
3/4
3/4
1.5/4
4/4
4/4
2.5/4
4/4
2.5/4
3.5/4
2.5/4
0.5/4
3/4
2.5/4
2/4
2.5/4
2.5/4
2/4
2.5/4
3/4
3.5/4

Next 25
 

The House of the Dead 
Amazon best price is FIVE CENTS! That means bad!
0.5/4 stars

A gigantic rusty razor blade slip n' slide, that has been sitting in the Florida sun in early August and has been doused with a combination of rubbing alcohol, bleach, ammonia, and sulfuric acid. That is a description of the toy that I would take running slides down in nothing more than a bathing suit and I would do it with a gigantic grin on my face if it meant that I could forget ever having watched this movie.
For those of you unaware of Uwe Bol. He is a director that loves to make video games into movies. He also loves to blatantly insert clips from the games into his film to "make it more like the game". Eventually I think he will simply hook up a DVR to a game console and just record someone playing it and apply his name to it.
Mr. Bol has 12 million dollars to make this movie. 12 million can go one out of two ways, it can be spread out over the entire length of the film adding a few good effects and having a tight story line and what amounts to be a moderately budgeted film that could do really well at the box office. Or you can spend all of it on a couple Matrix style bullet-time effects and skimp on the unnecessary things like a plot or a script.
Guess which direction he went? WE'VE GOT BULLET-TIME PEOPLE!
Usually I try to find something good to say about Uwe Bol's movies before I trash them, but I have to admit that this movie was so piss poor I couldn't even come up with a single enjoyable thing to say about it.


Recent Comments

Comment On Review

 
 
Log In
Help on how to log into FilmCrave
Login with Facebook
Login with FilmCrave
 
 
What Members Are Doing
Movie Talk
New Movie Reviews
New Movie Lists
Movies Seen by Alena
Recent Movies To See by Mr Cinema
2005 by Karmand
2017 Rated and Ranked by Chris Kavan
Movies First Seen in 2017 by royaluglydudes
Movies of 2017 by Stoney McStonerson
movies of 2017 by skater4159
Movies I Want To See by Laura

 

 

 

Contact FilmCrave Public Relations    

Advertise and Business

Developer API

Contact Us

Jobs

About us

SiteMap

 

Support FilmCrave

FAQ and Help

News and Press

Terms of Use

Privacy

   
Are you sure you want
to delete this review?