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Delorted's Movie Reviews (169)

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Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace 
Review - The Phantom Menace (1999)
1/4 stars

I'd like to write a review in my normal fashion for this movie, but I just can't. I need to write this as it comes to me, so just deal. Where do I begin? Well, I guess the best place to start is at the beginning, where Obi-Wan's very first words were "I have a bad feeling about this." This pretty much sums up the entire movie in one sentence. I was only 11 when this movie came out, but people had waited over fifteen years for this movie. They knew it had to happen, and once it was announced, it became one of the biggest things since the release of its predecessors. What we got, however, was a horrible waste of over two hours of our lives.

First of all, why on earth did George Lucas think it necessary to take all the politics that were only in the background of the original trilogy and make them the main focus of this one? There are literally half hours that go by without anything happening at all. And when we do get the sparse action scene, it's usually a waste of space. The infamous pod racing scene (which I have never once seen translate into a video game very well, ironically) is a lackluster merchandising device which serves absolutely no purpose whatsoever to the plot.

Speaking of serving no purpose to the plot, what is up with Darth Maul? Why was he in this movie? There is no other reason than to show off a two-sided lightsaber (which sounds rather dangerous compared to the cooler, normal lightsaber). He's barely in the movie, and when he is in it, he rarely ever speaks. He serves no purpose other than, once again, to sell toys.

Remember the original Star Wars? Remember how the original trilogy was about a boy (okay, man) who finds out that he's part of a bigger picture and spends his time training to be a master of an otherwise secret, in lack of a better word, force? Apparently Lucas decided that even though this movie takes on the same type of story as A New Hope, we don't need to see the kid all that much, and we don't need to develop his character. Let's just throw in some (rather terrible) CGI, some (completely terrible) actors, forget the plot, and just sell toys.

Don't even get me started on Jar Jar Binks.

I only suggest this movie to people who enjoy the originals and want to know how much they screwed up the franchise. Thank you George Lucas for ruining this story(and most recently another unmentioned saga).


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