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Alone in the Dark (2005)
Uwe Boll is an idiot!!
1/4 stars
Uwe Boll, the man who subjected the greater movie-going public to the cinematic abortion that was "House of the Dead," has done it again! Why this man is allowed anywhere near a movie camera or film studio simply does not make the slightest bit of sense. I was smart and rented this before plunking down my hard-earned money on a blind buy. Fortunately for me, that was the far preferrable way to go. Sitting through the first twenty minutes of "Alone In The Dark" is tantamount to having the hairs on your arm pulled out one at a time. The movie is so incredibly convoluted, so audaciously written, and horribly conceived that you are seriously led to wonder why the studio even bothered. Christian Slater's talent was totally wasted. He plain and simply did not belong in this movie. Uwe Boll should have his film-maker's license revoked. He does not possess the slightest iota of knowledge required to construct an entertaining and cohesive motion picture. I would advise everyone to pass this one up on the rental shelves and invest your time and money on something far more deserving.
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