ikkegoemikke's Movie Review of Blended

Rating of
0.5/4

Blended

Just another rom-com with nothing to laugh about
ikkegoemikke - wrote on 10/31/17

"I got a girl for you. A blond girl from my dance class. Slightly chubby. But when you start to move, all that is worth it. That big woman can make you move like a hurricane"

Are you a sucker for romantic comedies? Or movies where everything goes wrong and in the end the whole situation miraculously recovers ? Or a film in which a rather geeky-looking daughter suddenly transforms into a fairy-like lady, after which some sad sack who at first didn't have any interest, suddenly starts chasing her with his slobbering tongue to the floor? Or such a nonsense comedy with really lame jokes ? Even summarized they barely manage to conjure a smile on your face. Or are you looking forward to that particular film where again there's someone in it with the name Dick, and you already know in advance what roguish jokes are about to be made? Hallelujah! Then "Blended" really is a movie that fits you because it includes all these features and you'll save some time. No need to look for all the specific movies and see them all, because they (the geniuses) put everything in this movie. Briljant.

Adam Sandler. Yes, popular in America. However, he's not on my list of favorite comedians. I always feel as if he is reluctant to act and then makes up some insipid one-liners to satisfy everyone. A little smile here and there happens occasionally. But tears from laughing while watching a Sandler's movie is nonexistent. I even think that a night of watching Sandler-movies could have a disastrous medical affect on me. Chronic diarrhea or an acute swoon ...

"Blended" is such a predictable feel-good movie where two single people meet each other, can't stand each other and find each other in the end, so everybody can fall in each other's arms. A happy ending with a capital "H". The chemistry between the two is absent at the beginning. Of course this is caused by a series of misunderstandings as you'll notice after wards. By a twist of fate (Dick turns out to have a lot of kids. Did you notice the subtle association between this fact and his first name ?) they both go on a trip to South Africa for a restful holiday with the whole family. That's the first positive thing I can say about this movie. The images of this adventurous and primitive Africa are gorgeous. The African Savannah with its wildlife and its beautiful sunsets. But for such images I can turn on the TV and watch something like National Geographics.

To their surprise they bump into each other of course. They are required to share the same suite and also have diner together at the same table. Obviously at that table sits a typical couple that always appears in this type of film: one, probably divorced, noisy guy of mature age accompanied by a young wench with a bosom where there's enough space for a few flower pots and therefore the need of a balcony is superfluous at the apartment. Of course these two attachments shake around a lot and is a joy for one of the two sons who's in the "nude-magazines-under-the-bed" phase. And then we are ready for a series of embarrassing situations, childish fart jokes, endearing cuddles with cute teenage girls, the required human emotional bonding that develop gradually and a happy ending where everything falls into the fold.

The most annoying item in this film: the appearance of the African crooner Nickens all the time. Especially the one during the basketball game was really an embarrassment. They look like a bunch of Muppets, who pop up whether relevant or not and start singing a song related to the situation. I would have tied them to an elephant, cram a huge rocket in the butt of the elephant, light it real fast so it'll disappear soon into the bush with that tricked orchestra.

Most positive thing in the whole movie: the appearance of Drew Barrymore. She acts as if it's self-evident and looks so charming all the time. Not everybody is blessed with those qualities. She still has that sweet face like she had in "ET". And I have to admit that Sandler and her make a cute couple.

I can be brief about Sandler. He's an imitation of himself. He plays the same character role in all his films over and over again : a clumsy pathetic guy who sounds sometimes boorish, but ultimately his dry humor and his seemingly fragile personality manages to please members of the female sex. A repetition in other words. And that's something that is invariably misused in this film: endlessly repeating the same lame joke (bumping an innocent head, mispronouncing Sandler's name ...) until you want to scream to the screen "Yeaaaaah, we get it ... ! ".

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