Camp Rock Does Not Rock At All, It Does Pop
In January 2006, Disney released a small movie called "High School Musical". It featured the talents of Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, and Corbin Bleu. Claiming to be adapted from Romeo & Juliet, it had the simple message telling you to be true to yourself and to "Get'cha Head in the Game". This little film became a nationwide sensation that led to a sequel, numerous merchandise, and currently has a major motion picture due out in the fall and a reality series later this summer. Disney, looking to repeat their success, recruit the Jonas Brothers for "Camp Rock", their latest musical/cash cow.
"Camp Rock" really stars Demi Lovado as Mitchie Torres, an aspiring pop singer who has a super-awesome (read: passable) singing voice who wants more than anything to go to Camp Rock. Sadly, Mommy and Daddy can't afford to send her to Camp Rock, unless Mommy takes a job as a cook and that she can attend classes as long as she helps her between classes. At the same time, the pop band Connect Three is having some "disagreements with their lead singer" (read:he's getting everyone Hulk-angry) Shane Gray (played by Joe Jonas), so they send him to teach at their uncle's camp, which is Camp Rock.
Poor-girl, but aspiring pop-singer Mitchie begins to make friends with mean girl Tess Tyler (Meaghan Jette Martin) and her lackeys. As time goes on at Camp Rock, Mitchie sings some song about who she is. Shane overhears this and he spends the whole movie teaching classes in which he should, in reality, have no experience in and being really mean/really sweet to Mitchie.
Before I continue with my review, let me tell everyone about me watching High School Musical. I watched it for ten minutes, thought it was stupid, and changed the channel. Next day, everybody was talking about it.
When Camp Rock was coming on, I figured I might as well watch it because everyone is going to be talking about it and I might as well know what they were talking about.
That would be a decision I would regret for the rest of the night.
Camp Rock's plot makes no sense. Between all the lying, food fighting, bad acting, and evil Mean Girl-ness. The actual plot gets lost within all this, also making any moral this had lost within the film as well.
With that being said, what most of the girls do in this film (including Mitchie and her "friend" Caitlyn.) are things which exactly mimic those of girls from Laguna Beach. I have no problem with characters acting this way when needed, but it makes the film feel like a huge version of The Hills: Summer Camp Edition.
All of the performances were either horrible and/or forced. Most of what the adults say things which I know adults would never say in reality. Joe Jonas' character seems to have a dual personality that is really nice/really mean. Lovato gives a somewhat convincing performance, but what this film comes down to is the songs. The songs range from the pointless ("Play My Music") to the catchy ("We Rock").
Also, Camp Rock does the impossible. The title actually misleads! There is no rock-ish songs in this, not counting "Play My Music" (which is teenage sell-out).
To be nice (and to not get Jonas fans hate-mail/death threats), I did enjoy the tidbits with the other two Jonas Brothers who appear in and out as the other band members. Their segments reminded me of the old cult favorite TV show "The Monkees".
I will admit as well that most of the songs are hideously catchy and if Alyson Stoner does look kinda cute if she was not 14 years old in reality. (Not in a "To Catch a Predator" way). And most of the characters, despite their cliches/over acting, are somewhat likable.
Still, Camp Rock does not rock. Granted, the (lack of a) storyline is not the reason why kids will watch this. They will watch this huge piece of crap just because of the Jonas Brothers and that Disney made this just to rack in the moolah, hoping that this is the next HSM.
Well, I'll tell you why High School Musical was such a hit. Its because of the fact that Disney did not shove it down their throats. It's because they discovered it on their own. So tell that to your Jonas gods!
Rating:D- (This is already generous enough)
Star Rating: *1/2 out of ****
+ It's only 90 minutes
+ The other Jonas Brothers are actually entertaining
+ The Songs Are hideously catchy
+ Alyson Stoner is kinda cute in this
+ I did not pay to see this
- Crap script/plot
- Unclear morals
- Kids act like they are in the Hills
- Two Hours of my life I'll never get back
- Some Bad Acting
- There is no "Rock" in "Camp Rock"
- There is a sequel in the works
- I'll be hearing "Play My Music" for the next four months
Recommendation: I would only watch this if I was vomiting over the bed, with nothing else to do but stare at the ceiling.