Yojimbo's Movie Reviews (2060)

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Blade: Trinity 
"Blade Trinity" by Yojimbo
1.5/4 stars

Superman, Batman, X-Men...there must be some kind of unwritten rule that says in a superhero franchise, the second must always be better than the first, but the third MUST suck. Here Blade returns to see Whistler immediately killed off (after capping some policemen??), destroying the warrior/mentor relationship that drove the first two films. It is replaced by an iPod touting Scooby gang of catalogue models spouting lame wise-cracks like something out of a particularly witless episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. They set out to pursue the original vampire called Drake (can you see what they did there? It's like Dracula. But cool.) who they need to shoot with a special arrow blah blah. Inevitably there are some nice visual effects and cool ass kicking sequences, but all the wit and style brought to the franchise by Guillermo Del Toro is gone, leaving what can only be described as a cinematic happy meal for the MTV generation. And Ryan Reynolds and Parker Posey are both awful, although admittedly, they had VERY little to work with...

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