Yojimbo's Movie Reviews (2060)

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Gone in 60 Seconds (2000) 
"Gone In 60 Seconds" by Yojimbo
1.5/4 stars

Nicolas Cage stars in another plotless foray into Hollywood no-brainer territory that is paint by numbers film-making at it's least imaginative. Cage handles the tough guy posturing while Giovanni Ribisi does his goodhearted dimwit schtick, Robert Duvall is the ageing mentor who comes out of retirement one last time, and Vinnie Jones shockingly plays a tightlipped tough guy. Add the usual mix of dogged cops who are always one step behind and wise cracking homies and you have a script that I could've written in my sleep. In fact, the ingredients of stereotypical cops & robbers, flash cars, MTV soundtrack, high contrast colour filters and storytelling by montage reminded me very much of a feature length episode of CSI Miami. The only surprises are Christopher Eccleston's BIZARRE infatuation with carpentry and the fact that the obligatory yet slickly entertaining car chase takes a full 85 minutes to materialise. Basically it's a cinematic Big Mac; it's difficult to hate as it appeals to all your basest instincts by design, but at it's core it is completely pointless and empty.

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