So You Want to Rule the World...
By Chris Kavan - 09/16/10 at 10:47 AM CT
Lofty ambitions for sure, and it requires a certain team... an evil team. One thing that Last Action Hero got right is that in this world, evil can win - so let's bring together the baddest of the bad and see who can help me conquer you worms.
The Brains - Every team needs a mastermind and there's no one whose mind is more masterful than Hannibal Lecter. Pros: Highly Intelligent, sophisticated, master manipulator. Cons: Doesn't get along well with others; may eat you. Still - despite his predication for fellow humans, his plans are near flawless.
Second in Command - Roger "Verbal" Kint - Any man who can spin a story out of thin air and get away with murder (amongst other things) would make a great second fiddle. We know he can be a team player, but also a cold-hearted bastard. Pros: Master manipulator & liar, adapts to situations quickly. Cons: Backstabber
The Money - You have the leaders, but if you want to make a difference, you better have the cash to back it up. So why not choose not only someone with money, but a kick-ass lair to go with it? Ernst Blofeld is your man - money, power, connections - who better to team up with to bring the world to its knees... just make sure he doesn't come face-to-face with the hero. Pros: $$$, many connections, a really nice place to plan world domination. Cons: Talkative, overly complicates killing people, henchmen don't last long.
Additional Funds - Lex Luthor - Sure, he may be way too fixated on one particular person, but remove that person and you're left with a really rich guy who loves the idea of world domination. Still, you may have to reign in his more... colorful aspects.
Pros: $$$, loves world domination. Cons: Full of himself, may not work well with others.
The Muscle - You've got some beautiful minds and a lot of money, now you need the bruisers to enforce your vision of a perfect world. We're talking about a real killing machine... literally. The Terminator has no emotions, feels no pain and is nigh unstoppable. Give him a mission and he'll finish it... or die trying. Pros: Very Strong, Weapons Expert, High Computing Power, Hard to Kill. Cons: Hurt by EMPs, Lava and tough chicks.
Backup Bruiser - If one killing machine isn't enough, or he starts to rust or something, you better have a backup killing machine. Jason Voorhees may not be a machine, but like the Energizer Bunny, he just won't stop. Give him a hockey mask and a machete and let him do his thing. Pros: Won't die, inhuman strength, focused. Cons: May not listen, hangs around campsites too much.
The Loose Cannons - Call them a distraction, call them expendable - certainly call them crazy. These are the ones you want the attention focused on while you calmly plan to rule the peons on this planet. You need loud, violent and in-your-face. Start with Mickey and Mallory Knox - these natural born killers are sure to grab plenty of media attention while going on a cross-country spree. Let them take the heat and have their fun - just keep your distance. Pros: Crazy, not afraid to shoot people, media-friendly Cons: Just as likely to shoot you.
Another Wacko: Colonel Kurtz - let him set up shop in some third world backwater and watch as he corrupts all those around him. Pros: Charismatic, Insane Cons: Insane part can also work against him. Not safe to visit.
So that's a start - I'm sure there are plenty of other villains out there with the right stuff - but start big, then work down to the small fries. Remember, this is your world domination too.